4) Butt teaches you things
Did you know that there's this new breed of gay that only NY could produce
- the Puerto Rican, Hip-Hop Homo Thug? Me neither. As a straight girl,
there's a fuckload of this stuff that I might never find out. That there's
a club in King's Cross where gay men go to pee on each other, called Streams
of Desire. How would I find out about that? I'm not a homo or a pee-lover.
I'm never going to know about it. I want to know about it. I hate the
limits of this body. Is this voyeurism? Is that wrong?
5) Butt isn't Kutt
I'm sorry, lesbians, but you really, really suck. Listen, your brother
magazine is talking about sticking their cocks through glory-holes, about
getting straight boys to audition for gay porn films and how they'll make
them all bend over and pull their asses open, about 'Fuck Around' actions
where boys hand out schnapps and play music on ghettoblasters to protest
against the police in Copenhagen trying to cut down on cruising and public
sex…… and you're all just like 'I am not much of a one-night
stander…' and 'What is falling in love to you anyway?…
what is the one aspect a person needs for you to fall in love with them?'
and 'If I get to the point of wanting sex with someone I am already
in love, so then it becomes really hard not to want more'. OH SHUT
THE FUCK UP! It's not your fault, girls, that you're girls - and that
even the sluttiest of you are still girls and thus can't help but talk
of love - it just doesn't make very good copy. Poor women. I feel sorry
for my own gender. We are so not fun. I bet lesbians read Butt and feel
ashamed of themselves for being so boring.