Mo Makes a Story From My Email Inbox Subject Headings
Corn Mo is a super-swanky American accordion superstar.
He has luxurious yellow hair and rich, ruffleable sideys. He accompanies
his accordion with a floor cymbal, and his first record was a cover of
the Charles in Charge theme tune. He is also the musical director
of the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, and goes out with a trapeze artist.
Corn Mo is coll. Please buy his record from www.cornmo.com.
Hello Corn Mo! I'm going to tell you some subject headings from emails
in my inbox, and I'd like you to guess what the emails are about. And
then I'd like you to make a little story with all the things mentioned
in the subject headings in. Ready?
1) Ampus kisses monkeys
Someone found you making out with a gorilla masked club kid
2) Forthcoming lives
Your friend is pregnant
3) Rock and Roll Handbook: G FOR GRANDMOTHER
When you need to put out a cd or tour and you have no money, call grandma.
4) 12 Pimp Commandments
Someone forwarded something clever and you deleted it.
5) Hey kids, it's that time again!
Your friend's band is playing at the end of the week and you still haven't
6) Alicia Duvall's Sad Demise
Alicia Silverstone was told her real dad was Robert Duvall and she was
sad to lose a cool last name and then she saw "The Apostle"
and was happy again and then her cat died.
The Story, by Corn
When Ampus decided that the math was too much and that there was no way
that the 2 could be carried to make the seawater contain Jagermeister
she decided to walk to the nearest payphone. An asshole monkey, named
Socrates (b/c monkey moms love the classics), was dialing down the center
of the phone and reached over with his unbusy hand and grabbed her ass.
Ampus took this as "cute" and kissed him on the forehead.
Socrates looked up and said, "My girlfriend is with forthcoming life.
What do you think of that?"
"I think you need to dial G for Grandmother. She'll know."
"Fuck that. I'm getting out of town."
And the monkey broke the 12th Pimp Commandment which was "Never Put
Your Ho in Hodie Ho without the Schnizel of some Dizzle. "
Word out. Holler Out. Someone's monkey will get the drought.
Then, Alicia Silverstone came down the street and the monkey did a double
take but didn't take his mind off the prize which was getting out of town.
So, she diverted the monkey and came straightaway to Ampus and said,
"My band, Alicia Duvall's Sad Demise, is playing Friday.
Here's a flier."
And Ampus said, "I can't make it. I've got a serious math problem
to figure out and there won't be any Jagermeister for the Palm Pirates
if I don't make it work."
"Just carry the 2 and add 5," replied Alicia. Then she showed
her on the Palm Pirate and it worked!
"You're brilliant Alicia. Now, I can go watch your shitty band!"
For more Corn Mo stories,
please visit www.cornmo.8k.com