THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE WE CAN GO

There's only one place where girls can be taught to pee standing up. Apart from, that is, the NHS classes that teach F-to-M transsexals how to be guys. Unfortunately, I was refused entrance to these classes on the grounds that wanting to pee like a geezer wasn't the same as actually wanting to be, like, a geezer.

Nope, that one place is a website, www.restrooms.org, set up by a woman known as 'Denise Decker'. Denise is a nurse who sought to combine her interests in sociology, nursing, architechture and orienteering in a site devoted to 'restrooms'. The most popular section of the site is 'The Pee Standing Technique for Women'. 'I thought it was a cool trick,' Denise writes, 'and thought other women might like to know about it too.'

Paglia's 'biology is destiny' viewpoint is challenged by the sheer numbers of female users who don't seem to have found the production of their own 'arc of transcendance' any kind of problem. There is also a history section, which points out that the female squatting / male standing template is far from universal. For example, among the Tuarags in Africa, the females stand to pee while the males crouch.





 

 

GO ON NOW, GO

I soon discover that peeing standing up is not as easy as I'd anticipated. In fact, it's not easy at all. Actually, nothing is happening. My body, desperate for a wazz mere seconds before, has suddenly developed a chilled down, take-it-or-leave-it attitude towards the whole affair. I ain't surprised. This whole standing-up, legs-straight, spine-arched, lips-spread thang feels utterly, utterly wrong. But I persevere. And then I discover why restrooms.org suggests trying your first couple of attempts in the shower. Let's just say, uh, sprinkler system.

'Practice, practice, practice', advises one experienced user of the technique. 'You must decide that you will never sit to pee again, no matter how lazy you feel. You have to practice hundreds of times to get really good at it. Over the next couple of months I drink a lot of water. And a lot of beer.



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INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM FROM THE FRINGES OF GIRL CULTURE


Features:
Love and Rockets and Foxy Girl Comics

In Praise of Step Aerobics

Hello, Hello Kitty

Interviews:
Erica Smith - Girlfrenzy

Viewpoint:
Cadbury's Flake Girls More Than Adolescent Boywank, Honest


THE INDEPENDENT HEROINE PROJECT:
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