LIKE A GEEZER (NOT A GEYSER)

'Suki', the editor said to me, 'this sea sponge article is fantastic. People love it. I've had loads of letters about it. I'm promoting you. Your job title is now: Chief Investigative Journalist from the Fringes of Girl Culture.'

'Er, thanks. That's nice.'

'Yeah. So, now I want you to learn to pee standing up.'

'Well, I already do that. You know when you're somehwere dodgy, and there's, like, weird hairs on the loo-seat, and drips and stuff. Did you know that there's like a million diseases you--'

'Suki. I'm not talking about hovering.'

'You're not?'

'I'm talking about peeing standing up. Facing forwards. Like a geezer.'

'L-like... a geezer?'

'Yeah. And don't come back until you can.'

 






"now i want you
to learn how to
pee standing up"

 

 

STAND BY YOUR MAN

An article in the sadly departed Nova magazine debated the merits of hovering vs. plonking, following a Mori poll which found that 48% of women never sit on a seat in a public toilet, whether it looks clean or not. But both hovering and plonking have their drawbacks.

Hovering means that the bladder is not properly emptied, which can cause urinary tract infections such as cystitis. Plonking means potential exposure to water-borne bugs such as trichomonas. What Nova neglected to mention is that there is a Third Way. It's simple, convenient, speedy, natural, and fun.

Pee like a geezer!


NEXT>>>


 

 

INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM FROM THE FRINGES OF GIRL CULTURE


Features:
Love and Rockets and Foxy Girl Comics

In Praise of Step Aerobics

Hello, Hello Kitty

Interviews:
Erica Smith - Girlfrenzy

Viewpoint:
Cadbury's Flake Girls More Than Adolescent Boywank, Honest


THE INDEPENDENT HEROINE PROJECT:
Lady Lucy is collecting short essays on and illustrations of the truly independent females of the 20th Century for the Project. Who are your heroines, your lovely ladies, your diamond divas? Email Lady Lucy and let her know.






















 

TOP OF PAGE