drugs are, uh...

some drugs, yesterday


Recent research suggests that ecstacy usage causes brain damage, panic attacks, hypertension and depression. But before it does all that, it causes other things. Like fun, for example. Leisa (a.k.a. Lee the E) remembers the good old days.



Picture this. You're in a black room. The blackness is punctured by repeated flashes of white, reflecting the myriad patterns caused by the smoke. Breathing in, all you get is a lungful of smoke fluid and second-hand cigarette smoke. The bass is thumping so loud you can feel it in every part of your body, which is fizzing with excitement right down to your fingertips. Bouncing around the room in time to the beat you stop and smile at the faces around you, all different yet all wearing the uniform "wide-open" look - shiny pale faces, flushed cheeks, dark eyes, red lips.

This is 1992. This is my front room and there's a maximum of seven people here listening to underground trance, absolutely smashed on ecstasy. I catch the eye of Louise, my sister, and from the mischievous look on her face I can tell she's having exactly the same thought as me - "Let's have an adventure!" Our favourite adventure is to go up to the bathroom with our huge bags and completely reinvent ourselves. Giggling like naughty five year olds we sneak out of the party and up the stairs, hugging our bags of booty.


Locking the bathroom door behind us we both lean in close to the mirror and examine our faces. After a minute's silent examination I exclaim " I look beautiful!" I look at Louise and say "You look beautiful!" She smiles and says "I'm soooo glad we're pretty!" and gives me a kiss. Another ecstasy-inspired "everything-is-beautiful" moment. The next stage in our adventure is to empty our bags all over the floor and examine the treasures that lie within. We make a huge pile of hotpants, mini skirts, vest tops and little dresses in every conceivable colour, plus make-up, perfume and hair stuff. We're getting excited now and pleased with the mess which we've managed to create, we stop for a cigarette while we contemplate the next, most crucial step - what to wear!


This task, traumatising at the best of times, is the crux of our whole adventure. What we wear when we make our re-entrance will depend on what kind of mood our friends are in - and that depends on how much E they've taken! Hmmm...are we going for "soft and fluffy" or "strong and sexy"? Soft and Fluffy means that I can wear my favourite little pink dress. I love this dress; it's a figure-hugging, bum-skimming, baby-pink dress with a sporty white piping on the neckline and thin little straps. I can bounce around in my towering rubber-soled platform sandals, or pose like a pouty club princess in this dress. It's perfect for any "loved-up" track. Or I can go for Strong and Sexy. For this I can wear my "hotpants-all-in-one", a black vest top and hotpants in one piece which fits like a second skin. I accessorise this with my orange Mary Quant flower belt and black suede thigh-length high-heeled boots. This is my dominatrix outfit which I wear only on special occasions.


...Soft and fluffy...Strong and sexy...Louise is currently sitting beside the pile picking out and discarding items at an alarming rate. She finally decides on a white vest top and a soft pink mini skirt. I decide to follow the theme with my pink dress...ahhh bliss - soft and fluffy! Now for hair and make-up. Down for hair is the unanimous vote. Louise's tight curls frame her face and move like thousands of tiny bubbles in a mahogany hue. My blond hair falls in ringlets down past my shoulders like showers of shaved gold.




Full make-up is always the look: Starting with a healthy dose of foundation and concealer set with loose powder (to obliterate any tell-tale signs of fatigue) followed by dark eyeshadow, red lips and blusher. The size of our pupils makes our brown eyes look black, and after chewing our lips for a couple of hours we have gained a luscious pout usually only achieved after expensive and painful collagen injections! We pose in the mirror, batting our freshly mascara'd eyelashes and pouting our bee-stung red lips. Smiling at each other we have another cigarette to celebrate our successful transformation.


Our belongings are scattered around like a discarded skin. We smoke and dance a celebratory dance on our pile of mess to the music thumping through the floor from downstairs.


Now on to part two in our adventure. The excitement of our imminent re-entrance is giving us a huge rush and we giggle, speaking nonsense to each other at a 1000 words per minute. Stumbling back down the stairs with our precious belongings stuffed back in our bags we have to negotiate our way into the kitchen without being seen, otherwise it will all be ruined. Dashing past the door to the front room we make it safely to the kitchen where we dump our bags and prepare ourselves to lure somebody in and persuade them to put on a track for us.


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We're in luck. No sooner have we arranged ourselves in the kitchen than my boyfriend Jamie emerges from the front room, looking sweaty and dishevelled. The look on his face tells us more than a look in a full length mirror ever could - we look good! I shimmy over to him and ask him in my best sex kitten voice to play "Love is in the Air" (a happy bouncy track which compliments our outfits perfectly), a request with which he easily complies. As we hear the first beats trip out of the speakers we push open the door and bounce our way into the room...

A L S O  O N  S L E A Z E

The Gold Chains Guide to Treating Your Lady's Coochie Like A Maze
Learn from the master, peasants!

The Sleaziest Thing I Have Ever Done
Heathy Lee Roth of Gravy Train!!! gets very, very nasty indeed.

A Eunuch - the Ideal Man?
Got so much dick he don't need no balls.

The Ugly Guy
Suki Kent on the lust that dare not speak its name.

Drugs are Nice

"Cocaine* can be a sexual mentor and a sublime electrician, bringing the lights of Broadway to women who have spent years in frigid darkness."
Natalie Angier, Woman: An Intimate Geography

*actually, the word she used was 'marijuana', but dope's for lo$ers, kidz!